Doug as a real person continues to amaze me.
from his FB
This world becomes ever more fascinating and surreal to me. I just found out that Mara Wilson has seen my reviews of some of her movies, and is...well, not pleased.
To her I say this: I do truly believe that every human being is a work of art, each one is different, each one has something to offer, and none of them deserve pure, emotional hate. I am also, however, a comedian, and believe all comedy is based on some form of misery. Sadly in some cases (you could even argue most) it comes at the misery of other people. Yes I've made jokes about your acting, yes I've made jokes about how you used to look, and even though it comes from a character I play, the jokes still mostly come at your expense.
Which is why, to make up for it, I offer these insults I have heard about myself over the years for you to use against me. They come in many varieties and from many different angles (appearances, voice, personality, lack of talent, ect), but I'm sure you can find at least one to your liking.
1) Doug, your voice is so high pitched it caused deaf people to hear and then suddenly want to go deaf again.
2) Doug, your balding forehead is such a marvel we were thinking about renaming you "Max Head-Room-For-Rent."
3) Doug, it's obvious you hold comedy in high regard, have you ever thought about actually trying it?
4) Doug, the cast of the Simpsons called, they want their overbite back.
5) Doug, I would love to make a movie about how your ego continues to grow, but I hear they already made a film called "The Never-Ending Story."
6) Doug, I hope you get crushed by a house full of cancer.
6 is kind of sloppy, but it made me giggle. These are all fine choices to choose from and any of them will probably get a good laugh. In reality I do not hate anyone, particularly people I've never met. I use laughter as many people do, to make others feel better. At times people's feelings get caught in the mix and that is unfortunate. As a comedian my goal is to make people feel better, not worse. If in reality though, a person honestly wants to judge someone they've never met before in a completely serious manner, that is their loss. People are far too fascinating to simply throw into a label. I know I am not a label, so I laugh when others try to turn me into one, especially when they're legitimately funny. But in the end, I try not to judge, hate, or encourage others to do so. I do, however, believe it is good to laugh; laugh at situations, laugh at places, laugh at things, and yes, even laugh at people, as long as the very first person to be laughed at is one's self. So don't worry, there is far more to make fun of with me than there is to make fun of with you.